i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
