id be glad to
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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