She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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