I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
