Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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