Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
