he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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