Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize