sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
