Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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