I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
