the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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