I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize