Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
