just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
