In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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