i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
