the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
