If i come over, it means nothing
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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