after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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