Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
