We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
