What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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