I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
