so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
