I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
