woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
