I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
