I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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