Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize