yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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