He asked to "fluff my boner.."
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
