at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
