I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
