the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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