i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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