The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
sex in a hospital.. check
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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