We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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