Do you still have your period?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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