There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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