I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
