i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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