this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Screwed.edu
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
