why didn't you poke me back
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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