if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
