tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
