So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
