no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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