We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
