My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize