We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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