it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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