oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
