the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
