try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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