everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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